


a moment's surrender

by hashire



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Spoilers for the most recent arc, The Ocean™
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashire/pseuds/hashire
Summary: Eren leaves, Mikasa flounders, and things change.





	a moment's surrender

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of a thing.

The breeze off the ocean chills her, the smell of salt tickling her nose. Mikasa sits on the grass at the edge of the sand, arms around her folded up knees, staring out into the distance. She tries to imagine she can still see Eren out on the water, though he’s been gone for more than a day.

She doesn’t react when Sasha sits next to her. She loops her arm through Mikasa’s, placing her other hand near her elbow.

“It’ll be OK,” Sasha says, laying her head on Mikasa’s shoulder. She welcomes the warmth of her friend but doesn’t lean into it or even acknowledge it. The sounds of the birds sailing overhead fill the silence for a long time.

“I don’t understand,” Mikasa says to the ocean. “I know he’s impulsive, but I never thought he’d just…leave us.”

Sasha rubs a hand along her arm. The action does nothing to soothe her. “He’ll come back,” she says.

Mikasa wants to believe her, but, at this point, all certainty has left her. “I hope he will.” A bird squawks overhead. They lapse back into silence before Sasha starts to hum a familiar tune. It reminds Mikasa of the days in the barracks after long, hard days of training: Sasha would hum it in the bunk above her late at night when she couldn’t sleep. Mikasa didn’t mind it, though Ymir would often snap to cut it out. It hasn’t been very long since those days, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

After a while, Sasha stands up and stretches. Mikasa looks up at her. “I’m going to go eat. Do you want me to bring you anything?”

Mikasa shakes her head, letting a hand drop to the ground and plucking at a blade of grass. “Thanks.” She looks away from the expression of concern that crosses Sasha’s face. But she doesn’t push, and Mikasa is thankful for that.

“I’ll see you later,” she says, slowly walking away. When another cool breeze comes off the water, Mikasa shivers.

The sun sets as she toys with the grass and then the sand, barely paying attention to what her hands are doing. Time passes with very little of her notice. She wraps her arms around her knees again, pulling them in close.

Something drops on her head after she zones out again. It partially covers her face but when she looks up she can see who did it: Levi.

“It would be a shame if you died from hypothermia,” he remarks.

She pulls at the fabric of what she realizes is a blanket and tries to respond that she isn’t cold. It doesn’t come out: her teeth start chattering. It’s as though she only just realized she’s cold. Instead of arguing, she wraps the blanket around her shoulders.

“Why are you still out here?” He sits down next to her, not close enough that they’re touching but enough for her to be aware that he is close. He leans back on an elbow, kicking his legs out in front him so he reclines and looks up at the sky.

“I don’t know,” Mikasa admits, shivering. She tugs at the blanket but it’s not big enough to cover her legs. She pulls them up closer to her body. It helps a little. “I know he isn’t going to come back…yet.”

“You think he won’t?”

“I don’t know,” she repeats. The wind picks up. A wave crashes against the shore.

“You should go inside,” he says as a shooting star streaks across the sky. “There’s no point in staying out here and staring at nothing.”

Mikasa can think of no arguments. She says nothing. The blanket helps, she finds, as she warms up. Levi seems to understand that she won’t respond but doesn’t badger her. She’s not sure why he hasn’t dragged her back. Maybe he, too, is waiting for something out here.

Her eyes start to close without her permission. She’s warm and exhausted and unable to fight the sleep that tries to overtake her. She shakes her head once but it does nothing. Just as she starts to sag to her right - toward Levi - he puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Armin,” he says, “take her to her room.” Mikasa blinks and looks around. Armin, standing nearby with a solemn look on his face, nods and approaches her. He offers a hand that she takes. She can’t seem to stand. It’s as though she cannot fight anymore.

“Can you walk?” Armin asks her, voice soft and comforting. She stumbles when she tries to take a step. He looks over her shoulder, an unsure expression on his face.

“I’m sure you can handle her,” Levi says to the unspoken question. Armin draws in a breath and turns.

“Here,” he says, “climb on my back.” Mikasa does so with sluggish limbs. He hooks hands under her knees as she puts her arms around his neck. After a wobble where she’s sure he’s going to drop her, he starts walking toward her dorm.

“Thanks,” she mutters into his neck, sleep claiming her again. She’s not sure whom she’s talking to at this point, but Armin is the only one who can hear her.

Mikasa barely wakes when he puts her in her bed and tugs the blankets over her. She hears Sasha asking Armin questions, though she can’t hear what either of them are saying. Instead of trying to figure it out, she pulls the blanket around her shoulders tighter, only vaguely aware of Sasha tucking her in.

**Author's Note:**

> Also on [tumblr](http://hashire.tumblr.com/post/177522585462/im-posting-this-because-i-feel-like-it-it-will).


End file.
